corona diaries

We were made for this: My Corona Diaries

6 Jun 2020

We were made for a time like this. Things are changing. A shift has occurred. And we are embarking on a new phase. My mind, my soul, my spirit can hardly keep up. I feel a sense of desperate urgency + a call for mindful presence. All that I have learned since the pandemic started, and since I’ve been working from home, needs to be applied right now. In this moment. And, even if it seems overwhelming, uncertain, unwelcome, and nervously exciting all at once… I firmly believe we were made for this.

In last week’s post, I touched on the fact that with the previous new moon, I felt the energy that will shift us towards emerging back into the world, albeit a new + different world. That could not be more aligned with what I have observed, and experienced this week. In so many different ways.

It’s apparent that we are no longer in our safe quarantine bubbles. It’s time to begin to emerge. In perfect alignment with the coming summer season, it is time for us to rise up + shine our lights. But to also anchor down + continue to nurture those strong, big, deep roots that we need so that we can evolve + grow + embody all that we have learned. It’s time for us… it’s time for me… to bring all of the medicine that I have, to embody all that my soul desires, to emerge from the cocoon that has been these past few months. Ready + willing to open up and transition into a whole new way of living.

The question is, how will I live? How will I show up in this hurting, but oh so beautiful world? What have I learned that has changed how I want to live? And how can I use all that I have learned for betterment of myself + my community?

The lessons of my Corona Diaries are for another post. But, I have begun reflecting on them already, as life has begun to open up + unfold… leading me out of my home a little bit more every week throughout May. I need to know how I want to respond to the world. How to use lessons from this quarantine sabbatical (not a sabbatical in the traditional sense, as I have been working like crazy through the whole thing) as I move onward + outward. Because those lockdown days are over. Like it or not.

This, week has been that turning point. It has been that obvious transition, unfolding from decisions, experiences, and circumstances that simply came about.

Lina and I began the week by literally opening up life in our home. We went plant shopping! We got new plants + repotted our old ones. Symbolically, though we didn’t know it at the time, marking a new beginning + new life.

As the days passed, we also found out some huge news. After 3 months of interviews, procedures, exams, and waiting… we have been approved to start the process of having a baby! It’s so surreal. On top of that, we also found out that our hospital has just this week started up treatments again (they have been paused for 3 months because of Covid)! That means that we are literally just waiting for donor match + an insemination date! Oh. My. God.

I also found out that we were going to be heading back to school next week – just 7 days before the last day for students. But, students wouldn’t be coming back, just staff. Which immediately felt not so fun to me. I was suddenly jerked out of my work-from-home sanctuary. HOWEVER, just one day later that all changed again. We will NOT be returning to the school to work the last days of the school year. It just seemed a bit crazy + difficult to keep up with the Covid recommendations – especially with the whole staff there + with the fact that we are moving to a new school in June, so there are boxes everywhere.

Nevertheless, just knowing that we might have gone back this week, means that I need to really prepare myself for returning to “regular life” again. Whatever that is now + however that looks.

You know, honestly, we have no freaking idea how that will look. We have no idea how it will feel. But, just as we had the choice to decide how we would spend out quarantines, lockdowns, and corona times… we also have the choice as to how we will open up, emerge, and show up in this new world.

Will we just blindly slide back into our daily lives, setting aside the past 2.5 months as an irritating interruption? Or will we take the time to figure out how we have changed, what we’ve learned about life, and how we want to go forward? Will we actually emerge as the embodiment of our lessons + experiences? Do we dare to literally live life differently now? Because we cam’t deny it. A global pandemic has changed us. The question is… will we step into the changes + make them reality? Will we allow our inner world to influence how we act, respond, and live in the outer world?

I spent a lot of time in my backyard this past week. Wandering, sitting, hanging, reading. Lina did some pruning + cleaning up. And we brought up all of our outdoor furniture. Preparing for our summer at home. I think that I will be using my backyard as my grounding space… the place where I can dive deep into all of those lessons + ponderings from my time at home.

It is my intention to absolutely emerge into embodied action, but I also intend to let it unfold slowly. No need to decide that next week I must do this or that. No, it’s more about reading + intuiting the energy with each given moment, week, and month… and responding to that energy in the most authentic, grounded way that I can. In other words to offer the medicine that I have to offer in the ways + places that need my medicine.

It’s really what we’re all called to do. To discover our soul’s medicine, our unique gifts, and to offer them to the world. It is the most natural process that arises + emerges from deep within each of us. It sounds intense + a little bit too holy for us regular folks, doesn’t it? But, it is literally simply embodying who we are meant to be. No need to be or do anything else than what our intuition guides us toward.

Because we were made for this. For this time. For wherever we are right now. For emerging from these past 5 wild months of 2020, emboldened + ready to embody the medicine of our souls.

xoxo. liz.

update: just to be transparent + honest + acknowledge the protests + riots going on in the world right now in support of justice, i want to take a moment to simply say this: BLACK LIVES MATTER. i stand in solidarity with black brothers + sisters + all people of color; and i acknowledge my white privilege.

i wrote this entire blog post last weekend (and added the photos just now, today saturday the 6th). it seems like my message of emerging + showing up has an even deeper meaning now than what i was thinking when i wrote the words above last weekend. but, the calling + the fact that we were made for this still applies. perhaps even more. my next blog post will include many more of my thoughts, feelings, and reflections on this past week’s happenings in the fight to end systemic racism.

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