well, here we go. full speed ahead. at least that’s how it feels to me.
but, i mean, really, what’s life but one big risk after another? and, what kind life would it be if there were no risks + challenges? so, i’m thinking that it’s good to just go ahead and accept and embrace all of it. and to keep jumping and trying and moving. there’s tons of fear that comes along with all of the risks (that’s why they are called risks), but there is so much crazy amazingness that appears after that big jump into the unknown.
you may know that this weekend, i faced another big leap in my life. it was something that i was excited about, which makes things easier, but it was still completely unknown and freaking scary, if i’m honest.
on friday, i hopped on a bus on my own and headed to a camp out in the woods about 2 and a half hours from home. i left my love at home, a challenge in and of itself, and set my sights on my future. on taking a first, big step in making my dream of becoming a spiritual life coach a reality.
on the bus, i popped in my headphones and gazed at the swedish countryside, just beginning to show its autumn colors, as it whizzed by. at one point, i even saw a moose running across the field right beside the bus! i was so shocked and surprised that i only snagged a pic as we were almost past it. it was so freaking cool to see. my first swedish moose!
after the excitement of the moose, i realized that my bus was running late, and i wondered if i’d make it to my second bus in time. luckily, as i ran off of one bus, in a city that i’d never been in before and had NO IDEA where anything was, i noticed that my next bus was directly across the street. with literally 30 seconds to spare, i fumbled with my bag, my coat (i was now sweating from stress), and my yoga mat onto the bus and found a seat. whew.
about 30 minutes later i got off the bus at the only bus stop that exists in this tiny little town. and stood there for a minute getting my bearings. i noticed a man climbing out of a van and realized that this was probably my ride. so, i walked over, introduced myself, and discovered that this was my new life coaching teacher! suddenly, 3 other women were standing by the van too, all having gotten off of the same bus i was on. they were also soon-to-be coaches!
we piled our stuff into the van and i stepped into the front seat, and we were off. deeper into the beautiful swedish woods. away from everything and anything. except mother nature.
we arrived at a typical red-painted swedish camp, which was surrounded by fields, forests, and water. pretty much everything i love. there was so much sky. and so many trees. so much green. and so many bright, yellow leaves. and sparkling water. and even cows!
i found a room, a roommate, and threw my stuff down. yep. it was gonna be a cozy weekend.
of course, this was no sit back and meditate retreat. it wasn’t that kind of cozy. this was many hours of intense thought. deep questions and reflections about who i really am. what i want. why i am here. what i believe about myself and my life. what i want to change. why i don’t change the things that i want to change. and so on…
and, the thing is, none of these reflections were done alone. we were constantly either paired up or in a group. and i mean… constantly. so, there was no holding back. it was just to embrace the fact that it was time to be completely open with complete strangers. of course, that feels a bit weird. but, i am also a very open person, so i have no problem sharing. in fact, i’m a major talker once you get me going. i’m not afraid to share my story. hehe. plus, it was so inspiring to meet such amazing people, with amazing stories of their own.
translation of paper heading: my life story and what it says about me
in addition to the subject matter – of looking honestly at ourselves inside and out – of course the whole weekend was in swedish. and i am fluent in swedish, but still. it’s tough to express such deep things in your second language. and my brain was also super tired from working so hard. however, it went just fine! and it makes me an even better swedish speaker, which is awesome.
so, the weekend was literally discussions + reflections. in pairs + groups. meal times together. and meditations. with an hour of african and naive american dancing late saturday night together. that was pretty wicked awesome.
there was one short hour in the middle of the day on saturday that we had some time to do what we wanted. and i spent that time alone in the woods. perfection.
our last activity on sunday, before eating lunch and heading our separate ways, was to begin coaching with another person. so, we gathered into pairs and spent an hour and a half coaching each other… 45 minutes per person. it was a bit nerve-wracking at first. i wondered if i’d be “good”. i mean, i know i have done this type of thing for years in my professional life, but i am learning even more about it all now. and it was just intimidating because everything was becoming so real. know what i mean?
but, it went great! and i had a great, inspiring time with my partner.
so, I have A LOT to soak in between now and our next weekend in november. i haven’t even come close to processing all that happened and all that I thought about. but, i have come to a few conclusions already:
i am pretty damn secure in who I am. bam.
i have done some intense internal work for the past 8 years, which means that i am comfortable with myself. i am actually quite freaking self-aware. i know what i want right now. and i am not afraid of going after it (as evidenced by simply being there this weekend). so, now it’s time for action. time to actually build a business and share all that i have learned from my own life. it’s time for me to get to work, in the words.
i know i said all of this in my last blog post, but it was deeply confirmed this weekend. i am exactly where i am supposed to be, doing exactly what i am supposed to do. i am living a very aligned life right now. and i cannot describe exactly how freeing and wonderful that feels.
in no way am i saying that i am “there”. i am absolutely not. and i never will be in this lifetime. at least i hope not. i want to always be learning and growing and transforming. i want to always be getting closer + closer to “there”, and right now, i know that i am. so, i am completely satisfied about where i am and excited about where i am headed.
and i couldn’t ask for more than that in life. what a freaking precious amazing gift.
i know this was supposed to be a post about last week, but other than cheering my love on with her fight to freedom, working my first shift by myself at the photo boutique, and this first weekend in my life coach training, everything else has fallen by the wayside. these things are the most important.
well, lovelies, i am exhausted after writing this post. my brain took a little break after i got home and spent some quality time with my main girl last night. (i looooove being with her more than anything).
now, however, i can feel my mind spinning again, trying to work on processing everything. feeling inspired and excited and ready to get to work – speaking of work, as part of my training i will be actually coaching some people. i have to have logged 60 hours of coaching in order to be certified. so, if you are interested… let me know! i can even do it over Skype of course!
ok. back to work. planning and writing and processing. wishing you a fantastic week, dear friends! and, if you come across some leap that you need to take, i highly recommend it. you can do so much more than you think that you can. so… jump! risk it! chase that dream!