daydreaming.

i have a confession to make. i’m having a super difficult time concentrating these days. i am spending so much time daydreaming… thinking and imagining of things to come. i can’t seem to focus on the here & now. at the same time, i am completely soaking up the here  & now. weird. i can’t really explain it. it’s like i’m excited about the future & the present & the past all at the same time. i’ve got a lot on my mind. i’m feeling inspired. and motivated. yet, at the same time, i can’t seem to focus on those things that are my responsibilities. not. good. i’ve gotta get a grip & balance things better. i can’t spend every waking moment dreaming life away… then again, i’m not dreaming life away. i’m simply living it. some moments i am so fully in the moment, and some moments i am so focused on what might happen (i.e. following my dreams).

i must say, that my wife is causing me to daydream a lot lately. it’s like i’m falling in love with her all over again right now. everything feels amazing, like butterflies are fluttering around inside me all the time. i get lost in her beautiful doe eyes when i look into them. i am inspired by her motivation, her drive, her dreams. i can’t seem to get enough time with her these days… laughing, singing, talking, enjoying life with her. every single moment. yep. she’s the source of my daydreaming, i believe. and she is bringing me so much joy. ♥

but, all of this is a good thing. so, i guess i’ll keep daydreaming… we gotta enjoy life while we can, right? soak up the beautiful moments when we get them. let ourselves fall in love over & over again. and remain thankful, very thankful, when we feel this way on any given random wednesday in the middle of fall.

thanks for listening. here’s to wishing you a dreamy wednesday.

peace.

 

 

things that make me smile.

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there are far better things ahead than any we leave behind. ~c.s. lewis

i went to work today.

even though i’m still on my vacation.

yep. i’ve got 3 days left of my vacation and i cannot believe how freaking fast 4 weeks have gone. it’s like i’ve blinked and the time just flew right on by. a few days ago i said that i was ready to go back to work in one way. and i think i still am. i’m feeling excited & motivated. but, there is this whole other side of me that is experiencing end-of-vacation panic. gaaahh. i don’t want the lazy days of summer to disappear. i mean, it’s almost midnight, i’m watching an episode of “criminal minds” (our new before bed ritual), and i’m just now finding the time to do a blog post today. isn’t this how it’s gonna be when i’m back at work? trying to cram everything i should do and want to do in one day, with time whooshing right on by faster & faster. and then, there’s the fact that this summer vacation has been different that i expected, tougher than i ever imagined, and a time that has changed my life. i’ve been scared, worried, sad, and confused. so, i’m not quite ready to give up my vacation just yet, not when i’ve learned so much about appreciating every little moment & realizing that it could all be gone, everything could (and often does) change in a minute.

as you know, there is this thing about life that is always happens. change. wanted & unwanted changes. abrupt & slow changes. we go from work to vacation, and then from vacation back to work. we go from a day of peace to a day of restlessness & worry. we move on, move out, & move up. things happen. it’s inevitable, change happens. the thing is, we can decide exactly how we want to face the expected & unexpected changes that come.

i have had some moments during this summer that may be tiny, little, regular daily moments, but they have been truly happy ones. perhaps i have become more in tune with appreciating all of the little things in life. so, it’s hard to prepare myself to leave these moments and head back to the daily grind. but, there is one thing i am sure of… even though things are changing, even though vacation is almost over & i’m headed back to work, i am certain that there are beautiful moments that lie ahead as well.

i thought i’d share a few of the things that have made my heart happy in the past few days…

a road trip to IKEA is always a good time.

and a new addition to the floor from IKEA is even better. hehe.

a whole week of cozy, rainy days. actually the perfect way to enjoy my last week of vacation.

homemade sunflower seed crackers. that’s right. i made them.

trying out new recipes: zucchini chips. yummi yum yum.

listening to my love sing. love, love, love it.

 this face. my heart is melting.

smile on, my friends. peace.

6 down. 6 to go.

how is it possible that today is the last day of june?! where has this year gone? we are halfway through 2012 already. it’s crazy.

well, because it’s the last day of the first half of the year i thought i’d do a little looking back (you know how i am about reflecting & reminiscing. i love it.). there  have been some really great things (a visit from a friend in the states, my job becoming a permanent position, plenty of cozy moments with my love), but it has also been quite a difficult 6 months as well. the past 2 months have given me a chance to reflect a lot, and i have realized that i have been in survival mode in some ways… enjoying & clinging to the amazing moments, of which there have been plenty. but, also fighting and surviving through some really difficult things. things that require much more fighting.

but, in some ways, i think that my survival mode has been what’s kept me sane. that, and my understanding that even though things are tough, there is something beautiful to be found in every day. still, i think that my instincts to be strong & fight get me into some kind of groove where i don’t realize how bad things may be. i am an eternal optimist. and a true believer in the idea that all things teach us something, all moments, all struggles can transform us if we allow it. and it’s good that i’m like that. but, if i’m honest, and now that i can look back, i have gained much more perspective. i can see all the amazing moments and all of the moments that i felt scared & defeated. it’s a little like 2012 has been oil & vinager. good & bad. amazing & heart-breaking.

i know i haven’t written much about the heartbreak & fear on my blog, but it is very personal. perhaps one day i will tell that story. for now, though, i am still in the middle of living it. still fighting, still adjusting to changes in my life, still clinging on to hope , still fighting, and still learning. it’s still too soon to write about it publicly.

but, as i embark on the beginning of the second half of the year tomorrow, i am poised and ready to keep fighting and to keep soaking up the moments of life. i enter the second half of the year certain of how strong i am, more in love with my wife than ever, humbled by the life that i live, and inspired to grab life by the horns and follow our dreams more than ever.

i thought i’d end with my favorite picture from the instagram photo a day challenge this month. i took it when i had some wonderful moments with my love. just being together. soaking up the sun (which has not been around that much this june) and simply enjoying a little stolen moment of peace & love… even in the midst of chaos.

so, today i say goodbye to the first half of 2012. i lay it to rest and close this chapter of the year. i am ready to embark on the second half of the year, with hope, strength, and more love than i could ever imagine for the woman i share my life with. and of course, i am ready to begin my instagram photo a day challenge for july. however, i’m only gonna post my pictures once a week this month. time to switch it up again.

i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again. this photo challenge has inspired me so much. boosted my photography stills. encouraged my creative side. and most definitely given me a chance to slow down each day and see beauty even in the most ordinary and dreary moments. yes, i’m beginning my 5th month of this challenge. perhaps i’m actually going to stick with it through the whole rest of the year?!

join me if you’d like! it can be as simple or as complicated as you want it. just snap a pic & post it somewhere to share with others on Facebook, instagram, your blog, twitter, pinterest. you’ll be amazed how you will begin to see things differently. here’s the list for july thanks to chantelle at fatmumslim!

happy second half of 2012, my dear readers!!

wishing you 6 months filled with love, beauty, happiness, strength, & peace.