morning. (noon. and night.)

morning.

i woke up early this first morning of june because this cute little thingy jumped up next to my face, and began meowing for me to get up. i heard the rain pattering on the window outside, saw the gray clouds through my curtains, checked the temperature on my phone, and decided to ignore her little cries and snuggle back under the covers for a few more minutes.

i lay there thinking, “is june really here? how can it be that we are beginning the 6th month of the year already? 2012 is flying by.” zola kept bugging me to get up, so i decided it was time to get this month started. i wandered into the kitchen, started a pot of coffee, and fed the super-talkative zola. then, i continued my pondering about the beginning of june, wondering what this month has in store for me.

noon.

at noon i went to lunch at a yummy mexican restaurant with a fellow american! the picture above is the freaking awesome floor in the restaurant. the other american & i know each other from the church where i work, and have said many times that we’d love to get together, but you know how that goes… life flying by so fast. everyone so busy. what was i saying before about having a hard time believing it was june already? anyway, we passed each other on our way to work on wednesday. she sped by on her bike, as i walked  in the opposite direction. about 5 minutes later, i got a text: “was that you that i saw on my way to work?” and a few texts later we had set up a lunch date for today. cool!

it was so much fun to hang out with a fellow american, even if she’s lived here for about 20 years. i guess you’re always american deep inside. we clicked and probably could have stayed there all afternoon, but we went our separate way after an hour of talking about the states, our families, comparing notes on the plusses & minuses of living in sweden/usa, and a little theology. it was so great to connect with someone from the states… not something i get a chance to do very much. feels a little bit like home.

night.

i have spent the evening hanging out with my love. just being together. at one point she took a nap, and i entertained myself by snapping some self-portraits. hehe.

the rainy, windy, cold weather has continued from this morning, so it has been a cozy night to be inside. but, what a way to begin june. oh, north carolina summer weather, how i miss you so right now. still, in an effort to be present in this moment, i am working hard to focus on how relaxing and wonderful this evening has been.

sending you warm thoughts of sunshine, fireflies, bonfires, sand between your toes, bbq’s and late night summer walks. and if you have the pleasure of enjoying anything those things now, just know that i will be living vicariously through you… until the day that summer returns again to sweden.

peace & love.

by the way… i’m gonna mix it up with my instagram/photo a day pictures this month. but, there will be a post everyday inspired by the word of the day. promise.

my little creative dilemma.

i can’t decide what to do with my photo a day june challenge. too many options. let me break it down for you.

  1. i can share my photos daily on my blog (which i did in may), with a little reflection to go along with it. this is actually a really inspiring thing & gives me something to focus on every day.
  2. i can do an update weekly, which i did in april. this allowed me to post whatever i wanted every day, whatever came across my mind or inspired me that day. and then, at the end of the week i shared my instagram/photo a day challenge photos.
  3. or i could come up with some new creative new way to do my photo challenge…
  4. or i could skip posting my photo a day challenge pics here on my blog. you can always find my pics on pinterest or instagram. but, many of you don’t run in those 2 social media circles.

the thing is, i just bought my new nikon camera (which i loooove!) and i really want to get back into using a system camera again on a regular basis. don’t get me wrong, i love my new found iPhoneography addiction, but i need to find a balance. there’s room in my life for both my nikon & my iPhone. i have plenty of love to give to both of them. but, how?

perhaps i’m thinking too much. trying to plan too much. but, my daily photography has become sort of a spiritual discipline for me, so it is definitely something i want to continue.

you people are smart. got any ideas? you’ve got about 12 hours to come up with something, and then i begin posting/creating in whatever way i come up with. but, i’m really asking for your help. pleeeease.

june’s photo list. one more time. in case you want to join in. it’s so easy & so much fun! just snap photos & post them wherever you want. it is a really great way to connect with a new community of people & to improve your photography skills. so, you’re welcome to join me!

peace out.

day 31: something beautiful.

my something beautiful from today: our friends’/lina’s “brother’s” newborn baby girl’s hand. we’re aunts again. yippee!

good evening, good people.

well, it’s the last night of may 2012, and the birth of a beautiful baby girl into the family has gotten me thinking about beginnings & endings… wow. what a may it has been. i know i’m gonna sound cryptic & mysterious, but you’ll just have to excuse me. i’m not ready to talk about everything that’s happened. but just know that this may has been like no other i’ve ever experienced. it has, in fact, been the hardest time in my life so far, i do believe. and i know that it’s not fair to type out those words here & then not reveal what has happened, but as i said, i just can’t. i’m not ready. but, one day i will be. for now, i’ll leave you hanging. still, i have a few reflections & things i need to say.

yes, may is coming to a close. and i’m so thankful. of course there have been some beautiful moments, and i have tried to reflect them here, with my little photo a day challenge. but, to be honest, i am so ready to move onto june. you know, though, the photo challenge has been really good for me. the past few months have given me a chance to get in the groove of snapping photos every day, figuring out ways to create an image of whatever word i was faced with that day, and getting my creative juices flowing. but, this month, i dare say that the photo challenge saved my sanity. i had something every day forcing me to find something beautiful, creative, and lovely in it. and, you know what? i always did.

you know, it’s amazing. no matter what i am going through – and i say “i”, because i can only speak for myself – i find that, if i put my mind to it, if i let myself think & breathe for just a moment, then i will find something beautiful every day. something to be thankful for. something to soak in. something to touch my soul. something to remind me of the hope that is always there. something to point me in the direction i want to go. something to connect me with my love.

as may comes to a close, i just have a few things to say to you all. life is difficult and so scary that it feels as if you will be lost in a dark hole, never to be found. but, i guarantee that there is something beautiful to be found with the rising of the sun each day (because the sun does rise. every day). and, if you are as lucky as me to have someone to share it with, then hold onto that love. don’t take it for granted, and love like there is no tomorrow. trust yourself to be stronger than you ever imagined. you can & will survive more than you ever thought possible. and, on your way, in the midst of the darkness, slow down just enough to feel all the pain, sadness, & fear… and then, remember that you are not alone. remember that there is a tiny crack providing one sliver of light. and never, ever stop being you.

dear month of may, you have been a challenge (that’s an understatement). but, as i live & breathe in these last few minutes of you, i feel strength & hope because i have survived you. tomorrow is a new day. a new month. a new hope. and even though all the difficulty has not disappeared, maybe it’s become a little less daunting. in any case, i welcome you, june. bring with you sunshine, light, life, hope, and a new beginning. i beg of you. however, no matter what comes my way, i will face it, and i will find myself on the other side, waiting for july to come rushing in, in a mere 30 days. in the meantime, i will continue to click away with my camera… capturing those beautiful moments that pop up randomly and unexpectedly in life. i will continue to allow myself to seek beauty & snap photos… no matter what june brings.

what an amazing gift it is to find art every day, even in the dark.

my photo a day may pictures. something beautiful every day.

yep. count me in. here we go again! you are gonna join me, aren’t you? if not to take pictures, then to come back & check out mine, right?

may beauty follow you everywhere you go. peace.

you will get there.

pic from pinterest.

 you know, sometimes you don’t know which way to go. and sometimes you know exactly which way to go. sometimes you know exactly where you are, and sometimes you feel lost and overwhelmed. sometimes you feel like you’re drowning. sometimes you feel like you’re floating. sometimes things look up, and sometimes things look bleak. sometimes you feel hope. sometimes you feel despair. and sometimes you feel everything all at once.

but, one thing i know for sure. one way or another, life goes on. life gets better. i also know that feeling however we feel is exactly what we need to do. but the one thing that i am the most sure of, is to take life one day at a time, one moment at a time even. soak in those glorious, soul-touching moments and breathe through those scary, painful ones. one day at a time. one breath at a time.

one way or another, we’ll keep moving forward. we’ll keep living life and becoming more & more of who we were created to be.

peace for your journey today, wherever it may take you.

day 30: my personality.

“why am i as i am? to understand that of any person, his whole life, from birth must be reviewed. all of our experiences fuse into our personality. everything that ever happened to us is an ingredient.”  ~ malcolm x

people, this was not easy. i realized today i didn’t have a good grip on what my personality is like… at least from other peoples’ viewpoint. i mean, i know what i think i’m like, but how do i appear to others? what do others really think of me? how do they see me? and even more confusing, how do i take a picture of my personality? what kind of image do i use?

in order to solve this problem, i did what any good married chick would do… i asked my wife: lina, if you could describe my personality in a word or 2 or 3, which ones would you choose? well, she gave me an answer. a beautiful, humbling, wonderful answer. should i list the words here?

loving. caring. patient. listener.

wow.

i wonder, though, what would others say? but, more importantly, what would i say about myself? how do i see myself? and does how i see myself line up with how others see me, or am i living in some fantasy world in my head, thinking that i am one way while i actually appear a completely different way to others? who do i want to be? how do i want to be seen? something to ponder a while…

well, after wondering all day, i finally found some pictures that i decided to use for my image for my personality. i think it’s how i see myself, and i hope that it’s how others see me too, in one way or another.

peaceful. loving. calm. relaxed. independent. introvert.

“the most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. you trade in your reality for a role. you trade in your sense for an act. you give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. there can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. it’s got to happen inside first.” ~ jim morrison

what do you think? how do you see me? how do you see yourself? how would you describe your personality? how would you capture it in an image?

it feels like a night for reflecting & just being. wishing you some moments just to be with yourself. peace.

day 29: numbers.

i kept trying to think of something really creative for today’s photo challenge… numbers. but, nothing came to me. though, i did keep looking at this clock this afternoon and thinking about how time passes.

and then i thought this: if not now, then when?

yeah. when? if i don’t live life, suck everything out of it that i can, soak up every little moment, seek out adventure, change, craziness, embrace my inner carefree, free-spirited nature, and take risks & leaps of faith… then what happens? if i don’t do it now, today, then when? tomorrow is not promised. an opportunity may never come again. and i do not want to be 85 years old, sitting in my rocking chair, wondering “what if?”. nope. not me. time keeps passing. and it moves faster & faster it seems. if i wait too long, time will slip right by me. life is to be lived… today. right now. right here.

so, if not now, then when?

don’t waste another minute. follow your dreams. live life. find your passion & go for it! ok. enough blogging for today. time to be with my little family…

carpe diem! peace.

day 28: today’s weather from my kitchen window.

  • 7am: mostly cloudy. wispy, light, with a tiny bit of blue peeking through. i had hope for a sunny day.
  • 1pm: cotton ball clouds & some blue sky. it still looked like it might clear up & warm up. holding on with hope.
  • 8pm: cloudy. overcast. windy. chilly. and yes, it even rained.

bye bye beautiful, early, swedish summer. the weatherman says it’s gonna be cloudy, chilly,  rainy for some days. hmpf. time to snuggle down under a blanket & start thinking about coziness again. speaking of snuggling down, i am so freaking tired (since i haven’t been sleeping so much/so good lately) and i keep going to be really late & waking up reaaaally early. tonight, though, i give up. i’m snuggling down under my covers, watching an episode of downton abbey, and then going to sleep – even if it’s still light out (though, it is after 10pm, mind you).

so, i’m wishing you all a good night’s sleep. may you feel calm, safe, & be able to rest for some hours… sweet dreams. peace.

27: something sweet.

today was a a little bit sweet and sour, i’d say. up & down. so, it is with some days, right?

i know i write a lot about living in the present, listening to your soul, and finding peace & joy in the ordinary moments of every day life. i wonder how many people think that i just spit out all of that oozy, gooey sweet stuff.  i wonder how many people think that there is no way in hell that they can do the things i suggest/write about because they are simply trying to survive and don’t see any way out of where they are right now. sometime i wonder if my inspirational words only serve to irritate some people, like i’m too sweet and sugar-y. i’ve heard in the past that i keep my head in the clouds and seem to stay away from things that are difficult… that my life is so perfect and happy, that i would not understand at all those people who are going through real difficult times.

well, if you think that, then you’re wrong. sorry, you’re way wrong. my life is not always sweet. it is sour & bitter as well.

i must say, though, that i practice what i preach. i really do try to live in the present moment and listen to my soul (that’s why i do yoga, read, and sit). and i really do look for peace every day – even if i only notice one, little moment. and these things are not easy for me to do. they do not necessarily come easy to me, which is perhaps why i write about them so much. so, this blog, my pictures, the things i write, they are ways to help me stay focused in life. they are not to preach at you, dear readers.

and, by the way, my life is not perfect. i have had and do have many struggles. many things that try to pull me into the dark & entice me to give up hope. i’m just stubborn, though, i guess. i refuse to let the darkness win. i truly, deeply believe in love.

anyway, on a day that has been filled with sweet & sour moments, bitterness & joy, i want to share some tidbits of sweetness with you (typical me), seeing as that was the photoadayMay challenge for today (sunday). we all know that the sour stuff is there, but why should i focus on it? why should i let it win? it already causes me enough pain. what i need is to focus on the sweet things in life in order to get through all the sour. so, without further a due…

 on my morning walk to work, the suns rays were reaching down from heaven, filling me with hope & peace.

 afternoon fika at home with my love. i bought blueberries & strawberries. and i made some whipped cream/coolwhip stuff. that’s right, you heard me. i made it.

 bought a new camera!! thanks to my love’s great economy skills.

 held my cutie niece (lina’s sister’s daughter).

 had strawberry ice cream with chocolate mousse. tasted like summer.

 saw a gorgeous swedish field on the drive home this evening.

how has your sunday been? any sweet moments? sour ones? talk to me.

sending you hugs, love, & peace.

26: 12 o’clock.

an american classic for lunch at 12.00: a BLT (bacon, lettuce, & tomato). summer memories flooded my brain & my taste buds thanked me.

left the apartment just after 12 & discovered the circus is coming to town! in the square a few blocks from our apartment. course, i don’t think i’ll be going. but, it’s still cool to see. ya gotta love a big top.

kept on walking through beautiful norrköping on this spring saturday.

walking home on a warm, spring evening. i just thought the building & sky looked beautiful. and i’m having a little balcony envy too.

i’m ending the day at home like every other swede, or european for that matter, watching the eurovision song contest – a european american idol, except way bigger & definitely waaaay more interesting. each country sends a singer that won a contest in their home country. so, sweden had a song contest back in the winter to pick the singer who would compete tonight. you just gotta check out sweden’s chick… loreen. she is amazing! and all of europe is talking about her. go sweden!

listen to some good music tonight! peace out.

update: it’s now well after 12 o’clock am & sunday has arrived. i simply must get myself to bed. but, i had a little eurovision song contest update… loreen (the chick from sweden) won!! woo hoo! a proud moment for sweden!

 loreen singing “euphoria” right after she won tonight!